Marriage

The big M word. Something that is sometimes so often misunderstood and complex, particularly by people like me. Which is fair enough, marriage is something I probably won't experience for a while now. But I think it's really vital that I understand how important marriage is before I even think about getting into a relationship with a guy (I feel like that's not the right word, 'guy' seems degrading, a 'guy' that I would fall in love with and want to commit myself to in relationship is someone who would be more of more value to me than just some 'guy').

Last week my church pastor gave a talk at the Uni evangelical students Bible talk about Marriage and divorce. He shared on Mark 10:1-12, in which some Pharisees asked Jesus (but were blatantly testing him) about divorce and if it's of the law. Jesus replies that even though Moses permitted a man to divorce his wife, this does not apply to marriage now, that marriage is sacred because of the man leaving his family to be with his wife and so forth.

There are two things that my pastor said really struck a chord within me and they're both things that I want to hold tight to within my life, for my future relationships.

The first, 'marriage is the strength of commitment towards each other, not the strength of attraction'. I think it's pretty obvious what he's saying here, but I guess to me it means that there needs to be a greater purpose in my future relationship with a guy. That being with someone isn't meant to be about whether or not we are attracted to each other, but how committed we are towards each other. Attraction, inevitably, does not mean strength of a relationship. Attraction is not what's going to get me and my future partner through times where we may disagree with each other or when one of us is feeling sad or angry. It's all going to depend on how much my future partner and I are willing to commit to each other under God's love, no matter the circumstances, because that is what will get us through our fights, our roller coasters and our sad times etc.

The second really cool thing my pastor said was that 'marriage is protected by making it more expensive'. What this means for me personally is that I need to keep the sacredness of marriage so that it is something that neither me or my future husband will back out of later down the track. The more we make marriage important and something that is God-given, the more chance that our marriage is something that will last. Because that's what marriage is, a bonding that cannot be broken.

God warns us against divorce, firstly because it's breaking a vow, the vow that you promised to be with your partner no matter what. And secondly because all breakups are inevitably messy. Each time a relationship is broken up, a piece of you gets left behind and that's something I know too well of. Even in relationships that don't end up in marriage, there is definitely some unfortunate process of losing a little bit of yourself.

But I guess, positively, I want to say that through all this and through my experiences I know that when I get married, it will be to the right person and at the right time. The right time that is in God's plan for me. I know that God's teaching me that I need to be taking a more serious perspective of marriage and that marriage isn't what I thought it is a year ago.

Much apologies for the essay this post turned out to be. It's becoming something that's really important to me, especially when it's been a dream and desire of mine to be married and raise a family in Christ's love.